Mental Health
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I’m not ok.
Everyone hits a moment in life where they are just not ok. It could be for whatever reason, whatever situation, or whatever circumstance. This week has been extremely challenging and my world has started to turn over and do flips. There are heavy things happening in the background, not of which I want to share. I feel my bubble crumbling and breaking quicker than I can keep up. My heart is broken and tugged and pulled in so many directions and my heart knows what I have to do. I will do it. That’s not a question. The future is the question. How can I maintain this strength? How can…
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Mom life is a hard life
I woke up yesterday with a lot of sinus pressure and a nagging throbbing in my right temple. That’s where all my headaches are, the same place every time. To compound that, I had a really stiff neck too. I knew I had a giant day ahead of me so I tried to ignore the headache and got the kids around and took Tristyn to school. When I got home I prepped the carrots, celery, potatoes, mushrooms, and beef stew meat and got it all in the crock pot to cook on low for 8 hours so I could have dinner for us when the time came. My headache continued…
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I finally did it and I’m so proud
There was a situation I was in recently where I was constantly surrounded by negativity in the form of constant complaining and in fear of constant anger outbursts. A lot of the time these anger outbursts were directed my way and because of my past traumas and PTSD, I’d react in certain ways when people got angry. They call it the fawn response, where I would be as quiet as possible, try to get out of the way, cower, and make myself as invisible as possible. This has been my default trauma response for nearly my whole life. The times I should have stood up for myself I would blank…
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It is what it is
I think I hit a level where everything got too big and I popped. I’m pretty numb to everything and I’ve managed to put on my logical hat and set aside unwelcome emotions. I don’t need anything holding me hostage right now. Mom had her knee replacement surgery on Tuesday and the actual replacement went fine (whew) but she’s been having a lot of complications with the pain meds from having allergic reactions to throwing up to having her oxygen levels tank. She’s been in the hospital for an extra two days now because of it. Does it make me scared for my upcoming replacement? I don’t know, sure, but…
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After the past two weeks of challenges…
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Week 4 – New Medication
This week all the senses have deepened. 1. My patience level is at an all-time high. My youngest is terrible at going on drives and she starts screaming and fussing the minute she’s put in the vehicle. We have been doing test runs with her more and more to get her more used to being in a vehicle again. This quarantine has been rough since we are still under lockdown as a family. Anyway, I wasn’t stressed at all when she started fussing. I didn’t anticipate that she would lose it at all, I just had the positive attitude that she’d get through it and we’d get home. Which we…
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New Medication – Week 3
I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety my whole life. I’ve been on different medications and I’ve tried some herbal/natural remedies for relief. Some options seemed to work for a while but there were always some really negative effects no matter which one I tried. I’ve been on a new one now for 3 weeks and it’s taken me until this third week to really sit back and say, wow. I’m really feeling better. I actually feel better. Changes that I’ve noticed: I’m catching my reactions before they are happening. I don’t think that’s ever happened in my life. I’ve always reacted and felt badly afterwards. By catching my reactions before…