Post-sickness

I don’t know what I picked up but I picked up something, somewhere. I was starting to cough on Christmas Eve, I didn’t think much of it, just a cough. I’ve been coughing for 4 solid months with one thing or another. This one however, progressed until it was a really wet and deep cough. Then the body aches started. Then the congestion hit and the sinus pressure started pushing my face bones outwards. Pure misery.

Here I am 3 days later and I’m still struggling. I’m over the aches for the most part and I’m mostly over the congestion due to Musinex-D but my lungs are wrecked from this cough. My oxygen’s are in the low 90’s just sitting and being idle but once I get up and move then they plumet from between 87-89 and I can feel a big difference in my chest. I am also breathing very heavily from exertiting not much energy at all. I have a feeling I’ll just have to wait this one out. Zahkya got this after me and had a few rough nights and one really rough day and now Seth is getting it but his is pretty mild so far.

I’m not ok.

Everyone hits a moment in life where they are just not ok. It could be for whatever reason, whatever situation, or whatever circumstance.

This week has been extremely challenging and my world has started to turn over and do flips. There are heavy things happening in the background, not of which I want to share. I feel my bubble crumbling and breaking quicker than I can keep up.

My heart is broken and tugged and pulled in so many directions and my heart knows what I have to do. I will do it. That’s not a question. The future is the question. How can I maintain this strength? How can I keep going? I have to dig deep into this one and push on through.

The future is one big question mark. I thought I had it all figured out. Circumstances beyond my control have changed that. Am I angry? You better fucking believe it. The Mother bear in me is roaring uncontrollably. Am I sad? Yes! Do I have time to sit and stew about it? Nope. I have to keep the forward progress and I can’t turn and look behind me. I have to keep moving forward.

Food aversion therapy today

Zahkya has her first occupational therapy appointment today for her food aversion problem. She still won’t try new foods and she still has major sensory issues with her mouth. I have to take foods that she will eat and also take foods that I want her to eat. I don’t have very many of those foods so we’ll see. I really hope this helps her. It’s a long drive to Fort Collins so I hope it’s worth it. I wish they had something closer.

I got almost all the presents wrapped the night before last night. I still have a few to go but I feel much better having the bulk of it done. The elf on the shelf only has 5 more days at our house too. I’m looking forward to Christmas this year, I think it’s going to be a good one.

tWitch dead at 40

This makes me so sad. I just saw this headline come across my iWatch. I couldn’t believe it. I watched him make headlines on So you think you can dance and go on to be the DJ on Ellen. He was always so full of energy and he had the kindest smile. He died by suicide. Man. It goes to show you that everyone is facing their own struggles and suffering no matter what mask they put on for everyone else.

Hematology Appointment

I had my hematology appointment yesterday. It went well. He saw my history of being iron deficient and ordered more bloodwork to be done. Those results came back rather fast. I was off on 5 out of the 6 tests ordered. They called me shortly after saying that I needed iron infusions and that they would call and set those up as soon as it was approved by insurance. I’m not surprised. I expected this. Hopefully, the iron infusions will make me feel better and give me more energy. My hematology doctor is in the cancer center and boy was it nice in there. They even had a grand piano. I would have walked up and started playing if I wasn’t so shy.

I have a dietitian appointment today in Fort Collins. This will be my second one. I need 4 before I am to have surgery, at least that’s what insurance says I need. They want all my blood work to be normal before surgery as well, which makes sense. I still haven’t heard from endocrinology and I know my thyroid issues will take some time to resolve so I hope I hear back soon about that. I emailed my lady at the weight loss center to let her know.

Tristyn is back to school after coming home sick on Monday. He ended up throwing up all day Monday and had bad stomach cramps. I kept him home yesterday just in case but he started improving and was well enough to go to school today. Zahkya had a food aversion therapy session today too but they called and moved the appointment at the last minute.

I got Zahkya registered for the 2023-2024 school year. Oh my gosh, it’s going to happen. Both of my kids will be in school. I’m not going to know what to do with myself. I will have a very much-deserved and needed break, I know that much.

I did a little work on my blog today, I got the theme back how I wanted it and my lovely friend, Cam, got it working so that www.yolospat.me and yolospat.me both work. Yay! Progress feels good.

Migraine Problems

Yesterday my migraine held on tight and refuse to leave me. I was free of appointments and tasks other than taking Tristyn to school and watching Zahkya here at home. I pretty much stayed in bed most of the morning with my puke bucket and a pillow over my head. This migraine was unrelenting and had a lot of pressure associated with it.

I took my blood pressure several times and it was scary high. I kept getting readings like 150/106, 146/110, etc. when I usually run around 120/80 the majority of the time. That nudged me enough to go to the ER. Mom came and picked up Zahkya and I drove myself over to the ER. They ended up giving me a mixture of meds to get rid of nausea but the migraine remained untouched. I got a cat scan of my head and everything looked normal other than it showed I had a very severe sinus infection. They gave me IV antibiotics and something else for my headache that made me really really antsy and uncomfortable. I forget what it was, so to counteract that they gave me IV Benadryl and Ativan. My migraine started to dissipate after that about 70%. They sent me home and they wanted me to follow up with a neurologist which I’m probably not going to do. I already have too many specialists I see right now and to add another one, I just don’t have the time. I’m already seeing a sleep specialist, pulmonologist, hematologist, endocrinologist, gastrointestinal specialist, bariatric specialist, and orthopedic specialist. Where will I fit in neurologist? I just can’t right now. I can’t. Especially with my kids having their own stuff going on.

Zahkya will be starting food aversion therapy on Wednesday. I have to bring foods that she will eat and foods that I want her to eat but she refuses. It’s going to be an interesting appointment. I sure hope it helps her.

I have so many things I need to get done. I got to run a dungeon today on WoW classic. I don’t get to do that very often because I always have kids who always need stuff. Today, they were being really good so I ran ZF. Man, it felt good to heal again. I can’t wait to start doing that more often.

Mom life is a hard life

I woke up yesterday with a lot of sinus pressure and a nagging throbbing in my right temple. That’s where all my headaches are, the same place every time. To compound that, I had a really stiff neck too. I knew I had a giant day ahead of me so I tried to ignore the headache and got the kids around and took Tristyn to school.

When I got home I prepped the carrots, celery, potatoes, mushrooms, and beef stew meat and got it all in the crock pot to cook on low for 8 hours so I could have dinner for us when the time came. My headache continued to get worse.

I left the house around 10:45 to take Zahkya to the doctor. It was a follow-up visit for her ear infection, food poisoning, and E. coli infection. I also talked to the doctor about her eating habits and how she won’t try new foods and her sensory issues when it came to her mouth. Her doctor referred her to feeding therapy and ordered more blood work (as required by the health department because of the strain of E. Coli she had) so after the doctor’s appointment, I headed over to the hospital. My headache had turned into a migraine on the way and I really started feeling queasy. I ended up throwing up in the hospital parking lot on my way in to get Zahkya’s lab work done. She did awesome getting her blood drawn this time. Last week it took me, Nana, and a really nice nurse, Ashley to hold her down while they drew blood. This time it just took me holding Zahkya’s hand and nurse Ashley holding her arm so she didn’t move and she didn’t even cry this time. I was so proud of her. After we left the hospital we came home and I had about an hour before I had to go get Tristyn so I made Zahkya lunch and I laid down with a cold rag on my head. Right before we left to get Tristyn out of school I threw up in the bathroom.

We left around 2:15 and got Tristyn out of school at 2:30 for his therapy appointment. Nana was too sick to take care of Zahkya so I had to bring her along to his appointment. His therapist, Miss Hannah, is the best. She included Zahkya in therapy and worked with Tristyn a lot on being able to talk about feelings. I had to excuse myself in the middle of therapy and ran down to the bathroom to throw up again. I was shaking at this point. We finished therapy, drove home and I served up dinner. I didn’t dare eat. My migraine was screaming by this time. I put half the beef stew in a corning ware dish and took it over to Mom and Larry’s house and left it on their bench because both of them have been so sick. I came home and went straight to bed. I threw up one more time before I put Zahkya down and went to sleep myself. I didn’t sleep well at all last night. My migraine continued throughout the night and into this morning.

Being sick sucks. Being sick and having responsibilities sucks even more because as a Mom you can’t just stop being a Mom. I don’t have a village so I’m it and I there are responsibilities I have to perform whether I’m sick or not because I’m the default parent. It’s hard being the default parent, the default homemaker, and the default cleaner of messes. I had a huge mess to clean up this morning after I went to bed early and didn’t get it cleaned last night.

I have a playdate planned today for Zahkya and I can’t cancel it. I just have to get through it. I really really want to sleep, all day if I could.

Zahkya turned 5

My little girl is growing up so fast. She’s such a character and I love her unique personality. Time is a thief, I want her to be my little girl forever.

Health Updates

There are so many health updates going on with my kiddos. Tristyn’s chronic cough still hasn’t gone away. They have thrown 4 rounds of antibiotics, 4 rounds of steroids, and a month of asthma meds at him with no change. His doctor referred him to Children’s Hospital in Denver for further evaluation.

Zahkya had a doctor’s appointment on Friday and they ordered a bunch of bloodwork and urine analysis, and I had to collect a stool sample from her. Her bloodwork showed high inflammation markers, and her urine was fine, but her stool sample showed she had a type of food poisoning and an e. Coli infection. Her ear infection also hadn’t gone away so she’s back on antibiotics for that. I’m sure I’ll be getting a phone call from her doctor today about that.

I have an appointment with my weight loss clinic today. Seth has an appointment with his Gastro doctor this week (a much much-needed appointment). I need to get my PT scheduled. I gotta get my Nucala application going. I need to get Zahkya registered for school. So much I have yet to do.

I just got done shopping for Christmas presents. What a relief. There are a few I still have to get but I feel so much better having them ordered. So far there isn’t going to be anything arriving later than December 17th.

Tristyn turned 7

The boy that made me a Momma just turned 7 on November 27th. I am so extremely proud of this kid. He’s everything I wish I could have been.